Sunday, May 26, 2013

We remember the fallen

me·mo·ri·al day  

  1. A day, the last Monday in May, on which those who died in active military service are remembered.
  2. (in the Southern states) Any of various days (esp. the fourth Monday in April) for similar remembrances.

Even though most people in America are gearing up or BBQ and enjoying a three day weekend (myself included), I try very hard to take time out and focus on what tomorrow in America is all about. I reflect on the sacrifice, on the selflessness, that I and so many could not do. I reflect that even as my child grows that he may want to into the military service...and it scares me. Because I fear that knock on the door as the officer stands there and informs me of the honor my child received in the field, but unable to come home forever. How many children, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts, cousins, friends, lovers and spouses have been lost. Their lives cut short for America. And its not if you agree with the fighting or not, it is about remembering the lives that have been lost. So my friends, I urge you tomorrow, take just 15 minutes in quite meditation and thanks those souls, those spirits at rest for doing what we could not. And in their sacrifice, let us lead better lives. Let us be better people, better countrymen. Let us value each day, love each other, encourage each other, work together and make this United States of America a better place. May God bless this country and all those who serve it...Amen

Love Malinda xoxox

Thursday, May 23, 2013

I'll fight Your Battles...or will I????

Well hello friends. I hope and pray that you are all well since last I wrote. As always, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for taking time out of your day to read what I have written. Your support keeps me going and motivated to put my thoughts and experiences out there. Something happened  today that really made me question an area of my parenting. I pride myself on my son being polite, which is a trait that is more then lacking in so many kids and adults, but for the first time, I asked myself..."am I making my son weak?"

It began during pick up at school today. As usual the children were outside having a ball and Masaya was playing in the sand box with his friends. Let me tell you, the feeling I get when I see my child playing at school and really interacting with other children washes away all the crap of the work day. It is a true mood booster. He sees me and runs to greet me with a smile and wraps his arms around my neck, followed by a "Mommy come on. Come play in the sand with me."As you can imagine I melt right there and dare not refuse the order, so I go to join the wee ones in the sand as they make cakes and pies and castles. Everything is sunshine and rainbows until I see this little boy not wanting to play with my son. I suggest to Masaya to play with some other friends and to use a truck that's near him. He does and things are back to gumdrops and candy corn. Then the little boy from before, begins to take the truck Masaya is playing with and I can see the fight ensure. I encourage Masaya to tell the boy that he is using the truck and I say it as well. Apparently this kid does not following the " use your words" rule and ignores the both of us. So I go and look him in the eye and take the truck and say "Masaya was using this. You can have it when he is done." Which met me with an eye roll from a 3 year old and the boy proceeds to spit in the truck. Now, my first reaction is to smack the little brat across his face, but I suppress all my desires and let the teacher do her job.

I know what you're thinking, "Oh my goodness!". Yeah, I know. But the fact of the matter is, I can not control other people's children, I can ONLY control my own child. Which made me think, if I hadn't stepped in and just let the two of them duke it out, would that have been the out come? Or, would my son, being the polite one, not have even fought back. I try my best to have Masaya express himself with words, more so because he is bi-lingual, but also because he needs to understand that words are powerful and your point must be made. I don't like the screams or moans when children are fighting over something, I want my son to talk! But has my approach with him made him a bit weak. Should he have given into the primal instincts? Survival of the fittest? That I do not know, but I also no that I don't want anyone bullying my kid and he not stick up for himself. And really, isn't that every parent mission? To teach your child compassion, empathy, but also confidence and strength . It is such a hard thing to balance, but it is something I now know that I and his father must help him with, so the next time we meet up with bratty kid, my son will be ready to fight his own battles.

Until next time, may love surround you

-Malinda xoxoxo

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day, everyday...

Hello friends! I hope and pray that all is well with you. Things are on the up and up and frankly I can't complain. I do, however want to just say that my last post, although honest, was a bit too personal. I am more then happy to share my life and have no issues with letting things out. But, I have made it my misson not to let my emotions run this blog. And with that, lets get into this post

Those two beautiful, fabulous and AMAZING women in the picture above are my mother and grandmother. I can not even begin to tell you how much I love these to women and how absolutely grateful to God that they are in my life. With that being said, I also know that there are so many people without mothers. Not just those who have lost their moms and that pain in itself is devastating, but those who really never had a mother. I look at the situation in Cleveland, with the three women who were held captive for 10 years. Two of them returned to loving families, mothers, grandmothers, aunts...women who have prayed for those young ladies. The third women has refused to see her mother, grandmother and any other family due to past strain on their relationship. No welcome party for her...all alone. It is times like these that I know that celebrating my mother and grandmother is not a one day thing. I celebrate them EVERYDAY. From every sacrifice my mother paid for to daily life with my grandmother. I am who I am because of these women. They are my role models, my confidants, my friends, my teachers, my spiritual leaders and everything else in between. And then I begin to think of all the other women who have shaped me. My great aunt, Elizabeth Banks, my great grandmothers Theresa Dixon and Odell Caudle. My aunts, my Sunday school teachers, the ladies at church, women I've met in Japan, Georgia, New York and all over the world. My friends, who at times mother me when its needed. Oh the blessings are countless. Who are the mothers in you life and how often to you tell them that you love and appreciate them? Don't wait until the middle of May to let your feelings be known.

This is why I can smile everyday. This is why my heart is full. They are my foundation, my ground, they hold me and give me strength. And I, in turn send that love to my son, my Masaya. I mother him as I was and am still mothered. Sending that love and energy and positivity out into the world every single day...

Happy Mothers Day and everyday to all the mothers out there... in every shape and form.

Love Always,
Malinda xoxoxo

P.S. Not only is Sunday Mother's Day, but its also my mommy's birthday. Happy birthday Mommy!!!!!