Be your biggest Cheerleader

There’s nothing like being supported, especially when that support comes from the people you love the most. It motivates you to do your best, to strive higher than you ever thought you could. Having that kind of encouragement, it’s inspirational. But what happens when you don’t have that support? What happens when you work so hard and find that there’s nobody cheering you on in your corner? 

Being that I am my mother’s only child, I’m used to being by myself. I’ve always been used to being alone and I can’t begin to tell you about the countless number of imaginary friends that kept me entertained (and any adult that was in an earshot) my entire childhood. But here’s the thing, just because I was used to being alone didn’t mean that I like being alone. If I’m being perfectly honest loneliness and being alone is probably one of my greatest fears. Now I don’t mean it in the sense that I am dependent on someone, but I am someone who thrives on being social. I am more extrovert and introvert any day. It’s in my DNA. I like having people around, I’m a people person. I don’t necessarily have to be the center of attention but just being in a group or being with someone that I care about means so much to me. As selfish as it sounds, I believe it’s one of the large factors in me always wanting to be a mother because I knew that this love that I have inside of me needed to be shared and it needed to be shared in one of the most intimate ways possible. So one of my biggest life lessons has been learning how to keep myself motivated, inspired and all-around encouraged when I don’t have anyone around me, mainly when it comes to my career. Now, I can’t blame everything on my personality. I do believe as humans we want to hear the praise and adulation When we’ve accomplished some thing, and it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. If you think about children we all like to be rewarded in some kind of way when we’ve done some thing good. Now there’s those who love praise actually being communicated, and others who like gift service, we’ve all read the love language book. But what happens when you have accomplished something and there is no one there to pat you on the back. I try my very best to pat my own back but let me tell you, I’m not double jointed and it feels weird when I do it. I can’t tell you how many times I felt so dejected and disappointed when I’ve put in so much effort into a dinner, or planning a get together, even writing a blog post and finding that I’m pretty much the only one amused by what I’ve done. And in the past because I felt that my voice wasn’t being heard or my effort wasn’t being appreciated, I stopped. I stopped putting in the work because my love of what I was doing was in the wrong place. I put too much value on what other people said and not about who I was and what I was doing. Even though I share my stories and experiences with the world I don’t write for the world I write for myself. When I get dressed up I don’t get dressed up for someone else I get dressed up because I’m that chick. And I’m beautiful and I’m gorgeous and I love myself. when we are so easily swayed because we are not receiving the praise or appreciation that we think we deserve, it’s time to reevaluate. Is it that you truly are not being supported? Or is it that you’re doing this because you believe the value of other people over yourself? And my friends, there is a vast difference between the two. I’m a firm believer in having the right people in your circle. Having the people who were there for you through thick and thin, through high and low, through good times and in bad. But at the end of the day the person you have to love, and wake up to and look in the mirror and see the reflection is you. You have to be your biggest cheerleader. You have to be your motivation. You have to be the essence of all to push yourself to be the greatest human being you can be.

It’s funny, as I write this I know that some of the people who I’m closest to will never read this. I don’t even think they’ve actually been on my website. But that doesn’t stop me nor does it make me love them any less. I understand everyone has their life to live and their schedules to keep and so many other factors, cause life does get in the way. And sometimes you just don’t have time to support your friends and loved ones in the way that they would hope you would. But your hopes and dreams and self wishes don’t lay in them, they lay in you. And a dream doesn’t work unless you do. So put in the work my friends. Don’t  stop and wait for the praise, the applause, the hand claps or the “you’re amazing”.  All of that you should be doing for yourself and if you’re blessed to have that come from anyone else it’s a bonus.