I used to say that I hated Valentines Day...I was lying

My daughter Yui when she was about two years old. My children love giving me simple gifts, as most children do.

February 14th, Valentines Day. The day set aside for lovers and all things sweet and romantic and mushy. We see the pink, red and white thrown up through the grocery or drug store as soon as Christmas is over. The card aisle strong with words that we couldn’t be clever enough to come up with ourselves.  The cheap candy hearts, numerous stuffed animals, the kids valentines ready to be given out to their classmates. All in our faces. I used to say that I hated this day...I was lying.  The honest truth is I actually like this holiday.  And really, what’s so bad with having one day dedicated to love.

 All throughout my early  20s and even into my  early 30s, I would tell people that I really did not care for this holiday. Are used to go with the conspiracy theories about how it was made up by card companies and candy companies to sell their products.  But for me I was never really a card person nor do I enjoy a box of chocolates even though I do love the movie Forrest Gump.  What always drew me to Valentine’s Day was the idea that one day was set aside for romance. That one day was set aside for us to express how much we loved one another. And this goes beyond just your partner or your significant other this extends to friends to family. Are used to love going to school and passing out Valentines to my friends there.  I see the excitement with my own children. Because at the end of the day, we as human beings, we love receiving but we also love getting something in return. Reciprocity is a real thing and it doesn’t just apply to our spiritual or emotional aspects, it also applies to the physical as well.  It feels good when someone acknowledges you. It feels good when you receive something, not out of obligation but because someone was thoughtful enough and they were thinking of you.  That feels good and we should be honest about that.  I have been in many relationships where my partner would say “I don’t do Valentines Day.” or no effort at all would be made on their part. I remember feeling absolutely disappointed and rejected,  but never having the courage to express myself about it. Instead I would go along with  their lack of commitment to me and would just say “you’re right” or “yea, I don’t see the point, it’s a waste of money.”  Now don’t get me wrong, Valentine’s Day isn’t for everybody. But when you’re in a relationship with someone you do things that sometimes you don’t like. My son talks to me all day about Pokémon and honestly I have no idea in the world what he’s talking about, but I know that it’s something that he loves. I know that it something important to him and because it’s important to him it’s important to me. That is an expression of commitment and that is an expression of love. Please do not misunderstand me, I’m not saying that a commercial holiday is the pinnacle of a relationship nor is it the end all be all for how old the toner sit in a relationship, but it does say a lot when someone puts in effort. To do something is better than doing nothing. Even if it’s just a text message or phone call it’s got to be something yes we have those who go all loud and rent a hotel room’s and go to fancy dinners and have words that even put Shakespeare to shame, but everyone is it like that. We are all different and we all express ourselves differently however it’s about putting in the effort it’s about doing the work. That is the substance and foundation of any good relationship.

 Yes my friends, I like Valentine’s Day. Isn’t my favorite holiday no but I do enjoy it.  And at this point in my life I’m no longer going to lie to make someone else’s insecurities the forefront of who I am and what I believe in.  If we can dress up on Halloween, or have tacos and margaritas on  cinco de Mayo, why can’t we show a little love on February 14. Because what did  The Beatles say, “ Love is all you need.” Happy Valentines Day my friends.