Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My daughter looks good in Blue


Hello my dear friends! I hope and you are all well. Look at that little chunky monkey. She's getting bigger and bigger everyday. That's why every moment with her and Masaya are so precious to me. I take my role as their mother very seriously. It is a title I have been blessed with and one I hold so close to my heart. I understand that I am the very first example of what being human is all about. I am the foundation of their being and the lessons I teach them, set a precedent for their growth and maturity. But they also teach me, especially Masaya, being my first born. He and Yui have helped me understand that it's ok to veer away tradition.

As most of you know, my son had very long hair for a very long time. I always made a point to let Masaya make a decision about his hair and how he wanted to wear it. Because really how many decisions does a four year old get to make. When he decided to cut his hair it was because he wanted to not because I told him so well because someone else told him that it wasn't right. In fact he often received negative feedback when his hair was long. And the saddest part was most of that negative feedback was from other kids. They would say things like "you're not supposed to have long hair only girls have long hair." To which my smart and secure a little four-year-old boy would answer "that's not true". And of course he would proceed to give a list of all of the men he knew with very long hair just like his. From rockstars to football players, actors and activists, he would go on and on and say these men are just like me. He refused to fit in anyone else's mold but his own and for that I am extremely proud of my son. When he did decide to cut his hair it was a decision of his own making. No pressure from me or his father or anyone else for that matter. He simply just said he wanted to change.  But he was proud to have long hair and still talks about how cool he was. My son help me to reevaluate what gender roles are really all about and what we're teaching our children. For example I bought my son a play kitchen,a really nice kitchen at that. And I was surprised at some people who asked me "why did you get him the kitchen?" Because I want my son to understand that it is no woman's job to fix his meals or take care of him that he needs to know how to do that himself. And if being in the kitchen is something that he enjoys to do, I want him to really focus on his passion. He could be the next Wolfgang Puck for all I know! And the same thing goes for my daughter. I went shopping for her the other day and was almost repulsed as I looked at all the pink in the girl section. Don't get me wrong I actually love my daughter in pink. I think she looks absolutely adorable in it. But having too much of any color is annoying. So I promptly went over to the boy section and ended up getting her five rompers in gray, blue, white. And you know what, she still looks adorable and she still looks like a little baby girl...no pink needed.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is a lot of the things that we place our gender roles on a pretty superficial. The color clothes you wear, the way your hair is cut, the toys you play with, it's a whole trivial. This is not what the essence of being a man of being a woman is all about. Do you work hard or do you take care of your family? Do you treat your fellow man with kindness and respect? Do you make this world a better place? This is what defines you, this is what it's all about. And I thank my children for teaching me this lesson.

Be blessed xo
Malinda

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