Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day, his way...

Hello friends! And happy Father's Day those who are fathers. Once again, this wish is to Fathers of all shapes and sizes. Biological and adopted, uncles and big brothers. It is common knowledge that this day does not get as much recognition as its counter part, Mother's Day. And really, that is a shame because we need more fathers in the lives of us all. But this isn't about my father, this one is about a father in the husband.

I hate to admit this but, I'm controlling. Not crazy "Mommy Dearest" controlling, but I am very particular in how my house is run and how I raise my child. My husband...not so much. He can be relaxed to a fault, especially when it comes to Masaya. This drives me crazy. I find myself constantly asking him what activities he planned on doing with him, did he take him outside, how long did he take him outside, what did he give him to eat, was it balanced and on and on and on. My husband might have the patience of a saint because for the most part he just nods and does exactly what I ask. Then I have to remind myself that Kenji has no early childhood eduction background, he wasn't a preschool teacher and he wasn't around small children. Everything is new to him and he has to find his own way as a father. That is his journey and he determines how to shape his relationship with our son. It is not up to me to micromanage.

Sure, I wish my husband would  be more active with our son and do a bit more planning. But from the day Masaya was born I have never questioned Kenji's love for him. And really, that is what moves me, what tells me to back off and what reminds me that he truly is the perfect father because he is doing it his way.

Happy Fathers Day to all

Love Malinda xoxo

Monday, June 10, 2013

Hanging out at the 2013 Allentown Art Festival

Hello friends! What a great weekend and summer is finally in full swing. One of our favorite summer traditions is the annual Allentown Art Festival here in Buffalo, New York. This yearly event has been going on for the past 56 years and it get bigger and better every year. Artists from all over the country come and share their talents and designs. And hey, who doesn't love being surrounded by creativity. Here are just a few shots of some of the amazing pieces. Enjoy and we'll see you there next year!!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Hooray for Cheerios!

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate. And if they can learn to hate then they can be taught to LOVE, for comes more naturally to the human heart then it's opposite."

-Nelson Mandela

Hello my dear friends. Many of you may have heard about the horrid comments made about the recent Cheerios commerical featuring an interracial couple and their mixed child. The ad received so many racist and negative comments that General Mills had to pull the comment section from their YouTube post.

I have never been ignorant to the hate here in America and the world, but this country in particular really needs to grow. 
I come from a very diverse background and my own child is biracial and bicultural . There is no reason that in this day and age we still are so divided my color, but we are. I see the comments on Facebook and the political reteric and it makes me sad for a time, but it also makes me wants to work harder, love stronger, be better then those who hate me and those who just hate in general. Everyday, I look at my son and I am amazed at this perfect human being who was created from two people of two different colors, cultures and languages. It is spell bounding and a reminder that love and goodness will always privale.

There will always be hatful people that abound, but it is our job and duty to counter it. So hooray for Cheerios! You have a customer for life :D

With so much love
Malinda xoxo

If you are interested in learning more about this topic and the response that General Mills gave the link is listed below:

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The New Motherhood

Hello my dear friends. I hope that all is well and you are enjoying these beautiful summer days. I've recently been in a very pensive mood and have been re-evaluating my life, dreams and expectations. One of the main things that I have come to understand is that there is a new parenting outline, a new motherhood in which we no longer have to "have it all".

I was one of these women who was taught, you can "have it all". The family, the career, the friends, gallery openings on the weekends, trips to beach, romantic evenings every Tuesday with my husband all while writing my second novel. That fact is we really can't "have it all" and frankly I don't know who came up with that idea because really, I don't want to have it all! I have come to realize that its more about creating a balance with the things you love rather then trying to have it all. Not juggling too much or putting so much on your plate that you can't even enjoy life. Because really that's where I was. I was so focused on trying to stay busy and completing so many projects and trying to be a great employee and wife and mother and daughter and friend and writer, that I was losing myself in what I was doing. I was not enjoying life because I was trying to "have it all". Trying to be the kind of mother and parent that I thought I saw other women being. Once I came to this realization I actually sat down and started to prioritize things in my life, what was most important and what I loved. It came pretty easy. Family and friends were top for me. Focusing on being a mother and wife on my own terms, not by what society sets or what ideas I had projected on me. Second was writing and preforming. It is what I love the most and even if only one person reads what I have written, my pen will still flow because this is what gives me joy. And lastly, time for myself, including my health physically, spiritually and emotionally.  I have been in some dark places and know that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else and trying to be a superwoman and a supermom was wearing me out.

This new motherhood, defining parenting in our own terms, has become such a liberating movement. I can say that I am a modern women, but I still give Donna Reed her props! I like a traditional home but if I want to take my son to a Mumford & Sons concert I can without judgement. And really, isn't that what this new movement is, parenting without judgment. We have acted, for so long in this boxed, cookie cutter pattern because we feel obligated to please other moms or feel inadequate or jealous because we are trying to achieve the "have it all status". But really, no one has it all. There will always be something that someone else does better or they have more money or they are prettier or smarter. We can only control our environment because  at the end of the day, you have to live with the choices that you have made or the ones you have resisted. So here's to the New Motherhood, may we all have  a little less stress and a lot more love and joy.

Peace & Blessings
Malinda xoxoxox