Friday, February 15, 2013

"My son knows his ABC's. Well my son can fly a plane!": Living in A "One-Up" Society




Is it just me or is this year flying by???? I mean, were we not just celebrating the New Year? Oh well... time waits for no man, right. So here we are, in February. Valentines Day has passed and President's Day is coming. I can say, at least on my part, that this seems to be shaping up to being a pretty good year. I'm trying to live my best life and surrounding myself with love and positiveity. But sometimes, negativity just finds you...

I was in the store the other day running errands with Masaya, as apparently we are joined at the hip. We're waiting at the check out and my son has a habit of spelling thing out and then saying the word. So Masaya is spelling out "soap", "Bic", "Colgate" and so on and so forth while I'm checking my Instagram account, wishing that the man in front of me didn't have so many coupons. The woman in the aisle next to me sees him and being my child Masaya says hello. She has a son around Masaya's age and she asks his name. He says is name is Masaya and then proceeds to spell it out for her. Now, believe me, my child is not showing off, (although he has been able to do this since he was 2). This is just something that he can do. I am proud of all his accomplishments and he is well above his age group. But I do not feel the need to tell that to every person I meet, let alone try to "one-up" other parents. Apparently, this woman next to me does not believe in my philosophy. She stated that my son's name was beautiful and that its great he can spell his name, but HER son can already read at a first grade level and he's in karate and taking the violin. Thank you lady, thank you for being insecure and having to belittle my child with information no one asked for. Its one thing to be proud of your child, its another thing to be competitive and not in a good way.

Why do we live in this society where we have to constantly "one-up" each other? And let me tell you, this constant competition is across all walks of life, not just parenting. Married couples do it, single people do it, co-workers do it, my neighbors do it. Hell, everyone is doing it! Are we still stuck in Greco Roman times and feeding each other to the lions just for sport or is it deeper than that? Does it come down to the fact that, we constantly need to feel the need for praise or need to feel loved and admired because we don't love ourselves? Because we fill our lives with stuff and things to brag about in order to have fleeting emotions that are confused with joy. Instead of us being honest about our short comings, we kill ourselves to "one-up" each other. Its sad that we cannot rejoice in each other and use that energy to do wonderful things.

I can admit that I get jealous... often actually. I'm not proud of my insecurities but it is something that I'm working on. Furthermore, I have learned that there will ALWAYS be someone who has what you want and vice versa. There will always be some one more talented or richer, someone prettier or more athletic, some child smarter then your child or more polite. This is apart of life. What we need to do is focus on what we have and be grateful for the life we are given. I know its a lot to ask but can we at least try??

Peace Love & Blessings
Malinda xoxox